


Sniffles and Surprises

by Pixelatedperils



Series: Kiss it Better [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, M/M, Sick Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 00:07:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13065018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixelatedperils/pseuds/Pixelatedperils
Summary: Batman is stuck at home and sick in bed. What will he do when Joker unexpectedly shows up?





	Sniffles and Surprises

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'd and written quickly. Criticism is always welcome. I hope this puts you in the Christmas mood or gives you your daily dose of fluff. Enjoy.

The manor was decorated for the holidays, twinkling balls and tinsel on every banister and arch. reds, and greens, and whites accentuating the cheer and good will permeating the air. With a tall tree decorated with care, besides a glowing fire, all was content in the Wayne manor. That is until a violent sound broke the Christmas calm.

Up the stairs, next to Joker's "temporary" room, the illustrious Bruce Wayne himself was stuck in bed with a cold. A volley sniffles and sneezes followed the first disturbance. The tiny flake falling outside, nor the dazzling decorations could sway the mood of one bratty bat. He had been left alone by butler and son in favor of seeing Santa clause. In the midst of his sickness induced self pity he couldn't help but think, ' why does dick want to see some fat man in red? Wouldn't he be happier with his bat-dad instead?'. This thought was then followed by, ' no more Christmas movie marathons, Batman is too cool to be thinking in rhyme.' 

A knock on his door pulled Bruce from his thoughts. He simply glared at the door as if it insulted him personally. After a couple of moments another knock was heard. With al, the dignity of a billionaire and renowned vigilante, Batman hurled a pillow at his door. Satisfied with actions he then pulled his blanket further up. 

The faint sound of the door opening caught his attention. He looked to serif Alfred had returned with soup, or if Dick was there to tell him how much cooler he was than Santa. Instead, the Joker, his greatest enemy, stood in the doorway with a package in hand. When he laid eyes on Bruce a look of worry crossed his face before being replaced with the signature Cheshire grin. He set the wrapped package on the nightstand with care before sitting by Batman's beside. 

" Aw. Is the big, bad batman sick? Good thing I'm here. After all, laughter is the best medicine." He patted Bruce's hair before had was swatted away. " Jeez. Don't be so rude, otherwise you won't get your present." 

At the mention of a gift Bruce's sour mood lessened slightly. In a voice croaky even to rival Frogman, he replied with " a present for me? You didn't need to get me one."  
Joker chuckled and patted Bruce's head again, but this time the hand was allowed to linger.  
" of course I got you a present, dummy. I'm your greatest enemy, so I had to get you the greatest gift." Without a second thought the bright green wrapped box was thrust into Batman's face. 

With the abandon of a child on Christmas morning, he tore the wrapping from the box, completing forgetting his previous ailment. Inside the box, nestled between plenty of colored tissue paper--What store even sold periwinkle and burnt sienna paper?-- was a set of mugs. Carefully Bruce lifted a black mug that said ' Bestest Batman in the Universe' in bold, yellows letters. The next was stark white with ' Joke's on You' written in acid green and punctuated with a red kiss mark.

Batman wiped a tear that slid down his cheek while pretending to wipe his nose, but Joker wasn't fooled by the display. " Merry Crisis, Batsy." He pulled his beloved bat close before planted a kiss on his forehead.

" Merry Chrism to you too, J-bird." He planted a kiss on Joker cheek before going back to admiring his presents. " I promise I'll give you something next week. " 

With a sly grin and a voice laced with innuendo he said, " I'm looking forward to it."

Several days later

The distinct shrill ringing of a phone could be heard throughout the manor. Bruce grabbed the phone in a hurry, he had just sent his gift to Joker yesterday and couldn't wait to see how to like it. Instead of the usual " Hello" or " What's up?" shouted through the phone line, all that could be heard was sniffling. 

When Joker finally spoke he sounded like he'd taken voice lessons from Bane based how on how gravelly his voice sounded. "Hey butthead. Thanks for giving me your cold." 

Bruce felt deeply sorry, but before he could apologize Joker interrupted him, " and thanks for the Batman scarf. I'm wearing it on my heist at the drug store. Love you and don't forget to bundle up!"


End file.
